When a Jew Falls in Love
by RealRainbowRapidash
Summary: I tried to make the title sound like a South park epsiode title. I failed. StanxKyle, rated for language. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Sorry, I can't write summaries to save my life.


Kyle had been a member of the best group of friends he could have ever hoped for since he'd been too young to understand or get upset when he was called a kike. His earliest memory involved Eric Cartman, his "worst friend", pantsing him during Show and Tell in kindergarten, where almost everyone in the little class had laughed at him. He'd been so embarrassed, and so hurt at his supposed friend's action (not to mention how damn hard he was laughing at his own ingenuity) that Kyle had opened his mouth and wailed, a truly blood-curdling scream, before it dissolved into sobs and tears.

The world had been collapsing around the little 5 year old Jew, and even this reaction did not have the desired effect, as the class did not let up on the laughter,. In fact, Eric only laughed harder, even as the teacher bent over to scold him for being so disrespectful. Kyle had just reached up to wipe his eyes with his glove when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The redhead had flinched, afraid of being publicly tormented again, and looked up to see that it was none other than Stanley Marsh, the black haired boy in the poofball hat who sat two tables away.

"Pull your pants up buddy. You look like an idiot." They were not the kindest words in the world, but the warmth in Stanley's eyes belayed the rude statement, and made Kyle smile through his wet eyes. He did as he was instructed, ignored the class's already fading laughter, and followed the boy to his table, where Kenny McCormick, his soon-to-be third closest friend in the orange parka, waved to him. Kyle then smirked as Eric was forced by his teacher to stand before the class and apologize to Kyle for his behavior.

After his teacher punished him with no recess for the rest of the week, Eric had retreated back to his table, though not before calling her a "fucking bitch" under his breath.

Since that faithful day, Eric's torment had only worsened, but Kyle had learned to stand up for himself and fight back. He'd also learned to curse, which certainly helped when Eric started up with the Jew remarks. Where before Eric had before been his best (and only) friend, the slot was then filled by Stan, who shared his crayons, and as they got older, his knowledge of the world, the latter turning out to be useless.

Kyle allowed himself a small smile as he recalled the time Stan had tried to teach him about what a boner was, describing it as "a bone in your wee-wee that a girl needs to suck out to get rid of it". Eric, more commonly referred to as Cartman now, noticed this as he tried to get a peek at the redhead's work paper, and remarked, "What are you smiling about, Jew-fag?" Kyle replied, on a reflex, "None of your business, fatass."

Stan, to the right of Kyle, rushed to back him up. "He's probably smiling because his mom doesn't do every FedEx guy who knocks on the door." As Cartman let forth his vulgar retort, Kyle's heart gave that annoying flutter that often came up these days when he was around Stan. He quelled it by joining in with Kenny's laughter at Cartman's rage, only to have it make a comeback when Stan caught his eye and smiled at their mutual dislike of their group member.

He absolutely hated this feeling and wished it would just go away.

"Alright boys, that is enough! I realize that Eric is an easy target to make fun of, but could you at least wait until lunch to do it? We still have a lot of material to get through today." Mr. Garrison waited for the four boys to chorus an apology before turning his back to the class once more.

The flickering inside of Kyle passed once more and he turned back to his work under Cartman's hateful gaze.

Later, at recess, Kyle and Stan passed the period alone, which was a rare occurrence. Cartman had dragged Kenny off on some idiotic errand, which he would surely involve the two of them later, and Wendy Testaburger, who would have insisted Stan hang out with her, was out sick that day. Recess had started out normally enough; the two best friends had thrown a football around with Craig and Token before going off by themselves to play tether ball.

That was when things began to get strange, from Stan's perspective.

They'd abandoned their game, and somehow had drifted away from the crowd. Kyle had just been unwrapping the candy bar he'd been saving when Stan looked up and eyed it. "Hey, can I have a bit of that?" He reached out for it, his intention playful, when his hand landed on Kyle's. His friend had jumped, startled, and subsequently dropped his treat into the snow.

Stan, not noticing how rigid and stiff Kyle's posture had become, laughed and yelled out "Five second rule, you clumsy dumbass!" before scooping the candy bar back up. He looked up, meaning to hand it back to his friend, and stopped short. Kyle's face had turned a lovely pink, and he choked out a nervous laugh as he shakily replied, "You're the dumbass if you eat food off the ground. That's fucking gross."

There was a beat of silence before Stan said, "So...you don't want it, then?" "No, no! You can have it! I''m not hungry anymore!" The black haired boy eyed his friend curiously, as he refused to look him in the eye and yanked his hat more tightly over his head. He wasn't acting naturally, and Stan felt responsible for winding his best friend up, somehow. "Look, man, I'm sorry for making you drop it. I just wanted a piece." Kyle nodded, his smile quivering and nervous, but said nothing.

The bell rang before Stan could get his next question out.

For the rest of the day, Kyle went out of his way to avoid talking to Stan, pretending not to know the answers to questions, or turning to talk to Kenny when he saw Stan start to say something. After a while, Stan's desire to talk faded, and he quietly finished his assignments. He'd just finished the last of his math problems when he looked up and noticed Cartman, seemingly about to burst from excitement, and made the mistake of making eye contact.

"Dude, Stan, guess what."

"What is it, dude?"

"Okay, so me and Kenny were standing in front of the girl's bathroom during recess, right? And after the girls in there were done talking about lotion and Justin Bieber and shit, I heard one of them say that she knew someone who likes you. But like, suck-your-dick off likes you."

Kyle's head jerked up in horror at the conversation, but he tried not to let it show. Kenny raised an eyebrow at his friend's reaction, and more so when he'd timidly said, "Well, I'm not surprised. Stan's a cool guy. I'm sure plenty of girls in our class would want to go out with him." Cartman, truly full of glee, set his gaze on Kyle and went on, "I'm sure that's true. Only...it's not a _girl _whose name came up." Stan turned to Cartman, eyes wide, and blurted out, "So wait, you're saying that there's a _dude _in the fourth grade who's gay for me?!"

The bell rang then, and Kyle had never bolted from the room so fast in his life.

Stan was too preoccupied by what Cartman had announced to take much notice, and stayed where he was, waiting to hear more. Cartman, however, began packing up to catch the bus, pointedly ignoring Stan and his hopeful look, humming merrily to himself. Finally, Stan stooped waiting and demanded, "Okay fatass, you've had your fun. Now tell me the name of the guy who likes me."

Cartman smiled, and looked like he really would tell, but said instead, "I'll tell all of you guys at my sleepover tomorrow night. And I'm seriously, you won't _believe _whose name is gonna come up. I almost shit my pants when I heard." "So Kenny doesn't know either?" Stan asked, thankful that only one of his friends was holding a secret from him. "Nah, Kenny was at the water fountain at that exact precise moment, weren't you-...oh, I guess he left with Kyle," Cartman concluded, noticing their friends' absence.

Stan nodded, then let Cartman lead the way joyfully to the bus stop, where he proceeded to sing about how he knew something that Stan didn't. Before Stan shut him up with a kick to the leg.

* * *

Kyle skipped the bus and headed immediately on his way home. He didn't walk often, as it was a rather long walk home from school, but he didn't think he could bear to ride the bus today. Not if he had to share a seat with the guy he hated knowing something so personal.

Wait, what the hell am I saying? he thought suddenly to himself. That r-tard can't possibly know. Anyway, he added quickly to himself, there's nothing _to _know. Nothing! I mean, it's almost funny, the thought. Me liking Stan. Ha! He's my best friend! God, wouldn't that suck?

"Hey Kyle."

"Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman, it's not true!" Kyle yelled in response, not noticing that it wasn't Cartman at all who'd snuck up on him, but Kenny. The boy in the orange parka simply looked at his friend in shock for a second, before retorting, "Well shit, Kyle, sorry I said anything." The redhead sighed, subsiding in relief, then felt guilty. "Sorry dude, I thought you were that butt licker. I can't believe the nerve of that guy."

Kenny nodded in agreement, before replying casually, "I know. How dare he not tell Stan who it is that likes him? He's such an asshole." "I-I didn't mean about that! I think it's GOOD he didn't tell Stan who it is! I mean, Stan's not gay! Of course he's not gay! It would SUCK if he was! I meant that he said anything at all. I mean, that's personal shit, and if the guy doesn't want Stan to know, Cartman shouldn't say anything, you know?!"

Breathless, Kyle hunched down into his shoulders, his face suddenly warm with embarrassment, and his heart doing it's annoying tap dance against his chest again. He expected Kenny to laugh or make some gay joke, but instead, Kenny grabbed Kyle's arm and pulled him to a sitting position next to him on the snowy sidewalk. "Where is all this coming from, Kyle? Why are you getting all...weird?"

His Jewish friend noticeably got even more nervous, and Kenny smiled to himself inside his parka. He'd seen people get like this before, and he found it so amusing, especially since now, it was one of his closest friends. Kyle seemed poised to say something, but reconsidered, and there was silence for a good five minutes between them.

How could he explain how he felt when he wasn't entirely sure himself?

Kenny didn't force, merely made pictures in the snow with his finger as Kyle tried to work things out in his mind, and most importantly, in his heart. It was difficult, as he'd never felt anything of this sort before, so threatened, afraid and...so happy around someone, all at once. He found himself thinking about Stan again, how his face lit up whenever he and Kyle met at the bus stop each morning, how he was always Stan's first choice for a partner in class, the laughs they'd shared, the tears they'd shed together, the way the ganged up on Cartman together. He heard Stan laugh in his mind, and his heart soared; his laugh was so mesmerizing, and the arms that had hugged Kyle when he'd almost died months ago were so strong and loving..

Finally, Kyle cleared his throat, got up to his feet, and together, he and Kenny began to walk home. And out Kyle's story came.

"I think it was about 8 months ago when this bullshit started," he began, relieved to finally have someone to talk to. "Do you remember how I got sick, and my mom went to that Miss Information lady to try and get my help? I was so weak, and everything hurt so much that half the time, I didn't know what was going on. I was aware of a few things, though...like Stan, and all the trouble he went through to help me. Later, he and I read Mr. Garrison's gay ass romance novel together, looking for some laughs, but...somehow, I wasn't laughing much, even though he was. Later, I found out why. I know it sounds really stupid, but reading the word "penis" over and over again with Stan by my side kept making me think about him in, you know, _that _way. At first it was just some kind of weird curiosity, but then it kind of grew from there. But I didn't really think it was gay until-"

He suddenly cut himself off, his eyes widening in shock. "Until...until just now. Kenny...am I gay?" The blond took a deep breath, then answered flatly, "I think you might be, dude. But is that everything? Do you just think about Stan and his dick a bunch?" Kyle shook his head, and said, matter-of-factly, "No. I don't just think about that. I think about how comfortable I am around, yet so excited at the same time. How he always sticks around, even if I don't always stick with him through the hard times. But most of all, I keep remembering how it felt when he hugs me, I feel so loved and at peace, and I wonder how he would react if I would try to turn that hug into a kiss."

"Alright dude, I've heard enough," Kenny cut in. "I think I can say with certainty: you're really fucking queer." Kyle meant to insult his friend for being a jackass when he'd just confided in him, but stopped when he saw the kindness in his eyes. "I know it's easy for me to say, but I think you'd feel like like shit if you told Stan instead of me. I'm not the guy whose dick you want in your butt." Kyle blushed at that, but only muttered pitifully, "I don't think I can. I'm afraid to. And anyway, I think Cartman already has. It won't mean anything if I tell him now."

Kenny patted him on the shoulder, and set his heart at ease, at least a bit. "I know Cartman hasn't said anything to him. He hasn't even told me, and I'm the one who was eavesdropping with him. He says he's going to tell us at his sleepover. So you have until tomorrow to tell him before our morbidly obese pal Cartman fucks it up for you by telling him first."

* * *

**A/N: I'm soooooorry, okay? I keep meaning to update my FF account with something, ANYTHING...and then abandoning it. Hell, I'll be amazed if I finish THIS. It's gonna be a two-parter. Sorry my writing, you know, sucks. I haven't done anything word-related in a while, except for sing songs from South Park to my little brother. **

**Oh yeah, by the way, I spent this summer getting into South Park. This is only one couple that I ship. Sorry again, for butchering the characters. :o**

**Stay tuned for (hopefully) part two. Read and Review please! :D**

**Edit: I have a Twitter I just made exclusively for updates on my fics. I'm trying reeeeaaly hard to stay faithful to them now. Follow me if you're interested! **

** /WhatIsWrite**


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